Shit I Don’t Dig

1. Negativity.
2. My lazy side.
3. My eyebrows.
4. My feet.
5. My cooking.
6. My sometimes selfish tendencies.
7. Acne.
8. ABC gum.
9. Cheap beer.
10. Two people who go right on talking when yer interrupting.
11. People who lack originality.
12. Emo kids.
13. How much publicity this “Jersey Shore” shit is getting.
14. Forgetting to put on deodorant.
15. Big moles on people’s faces.
16. Paying for music.
17. Awkward moments.
18. Throwing up.
19. How I always manage to spill shit on my white shirts.
20. Falling short of expectations.
21. Jealousy.
22. Blowing my nose and having my ears plug.
23. Losing inspiration.
24. Writer’s block.
25. Mouth breathers.
26. Port-a-potties.
27. Automatic flushing toilets.
28. Censorship in songs.
29. Gays who claim they were born gay.
30. Guys who have no ass and wear skinny jeans despite the fact.
31. The obesity statistics of America.
32. Insomnia.
33. Mornings.
34. Exponents.
35. Sucking at pickleball.
36. Putting food directly on the counter with nothing underneath it.
37. People who hate their parents just for the sake of hating their parents.
38. Creepy/stink-ass bus people.
39. Crying babies.
40. Incorrect clocks.
41. Allergies.
42. Assembling fake Christmas trees.
43. No hot water.
44. Pushy sales people.
45. Getting an anonymous text message from someone who plays the “guess who this is” game.
46. Boring texters.
47. Stray hairs everywhere.
48. Neverending hiccups.
49. Losing my chapsticks.
50. Chapped lips and dry skin.
51. Animal cruelty.
52. Not being able to dunk.
53. Seeing a friend cry.
54. Neck tattoos.
55. Falling asleep in the hot tub.
56. Babies having babies.
57. Leggings as pants.
58. Old man cologne.
59. Uncreative Halloween costumes.
60. Family fights that break out at holiday gatherings.
61. Never feeling full.
62. Eating dinner late.
63. Luke warm hot chocolate.
64. Sunburns.
65. Dead zones.
66. Wearing too much makeup.
67. People who think it’s fun to push on yer bruises.
68. Screamo and country music.
69. Spiders.
70. Pretty much any insect.
71. Drunk drivers.
72. Fat people who have frontal ass.
73. Hair in the drain.
74. English accents.
75. The sound and feeling of nails on a chalkboard.
76. How much I procrastinate.
77. Feeling the pain of the world.
78. Being broke.
79. Not being a billionaire yet.
80. The economy.
81. Politics.
82. Religion.
83. Cherry flavored anything.
84. Being unable to sneeze.
85. Having to lie about what I’m doing.
86. When I forget a good idea before I can write it down.
87. Electrical outlets.
88. Bad spelling.
89. Store-brand toilet paper.
90. Stepping barefoot in something wet in the dark.
91. Being let down.
92. Broken promises.
93. People who refuse to try new things.
94. When I cry for a good long while and end up with that blotchy forehead look.
95. When the person I’m venting to goes and tells everybody and their mom what I said.
96. When my feet are cold and I stub my toe.
97. Smelling bad and smelling other people who smell bad.
98. When McDonald’s forgets the fries I ordered and I realize it like 10 miles later.
99. Price tags that leave that sticky residue behind.
100. The amount of time I just spent dwelling on the negative.