Archive for the ‘Other Random Shit’ Category
period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
period: How’s that back pain? Feeling better? Let’s fix that.
period: Corneas glance by a Glamour magazine on the table. Instantly horny.
period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
period: Where’s your Tic Tac box filled with Ibuprofen?
period: Got things to do? Don’t care. Sleep.
period: For dinner you’re eating an entire bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
period: You didn’t like those brand new underwear right?
period: Yell at a puppy.
period: Close eyes and wait for the repeat of today, tomorrow.
1 HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT CASTING?
Found you guys on Facebook, of course. Almost 3 million fans is quite impressive!
2 WHO IS YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
I’m employed by a company called The Paradies Shops. Which are pretty much gift and bookstores located in airports around the United States. My location is GEG (Spokane, WA).
3 WHAT IS THE NEXT MILESTONE IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THE SHOW?
I was thinking maybe becoming president of a huge company. Even though I’m 20 with absolutely no management experience. Maybe Microsoft’ll take me in, maybe Levi’s yu know. But naw, I don’t really like people that much. So perhaps I’ll go to college (haven’t been yet) and become some crazy-rich animal specialist instead. Yea, that sounds pretty milestone-ish.
4 WHAT SPORTS ORGANIZATIONS HAVE YOU BEEN A MEMBER OF?
I’m actually a pretty good athlete. I was voted by my coaches and fellow teammates as tri-athlete of the year for my high school. The requirements being I had to be involved in a sport all three tri-mesters, all four years I attended. Volleyball, basketball, track. That was me. By the time junior year came around, I was varsity in all three. High point in my life so far.
5 WHAT WOULD YOUR FRIENDS SAY ARE YOUR BEST QUALITIES?
I’m one of the most positive people you’ll meet. I find humor in everything I do. I tend to get along with different personalities fairly easily because of this. I’m often told that I have nice hair and a pretty smile.
6 WHAT WOULD YOUR FRIENDS SAY ARE YOUR WORST QUALITIES?
I have a hard time taking serious stuff seriously. I’m not very good at giving advice because I’m not very good at taking it. Also, I always forget to call people back. You can’t just leave me one voice mail. You gotta leave like three and a few texts.
7 HOW ARE YOU COMPETITIVE IN YOUR EVERY DAY LIFE?
Small things always count. Speeding to get that front parking spot before anybody else sees it, sinking the crumpled up piece of paper in the wastebasket TWENTY feet away rather than a weak ten, finishing my Panda Express quicker than the rest of the family in order to have a good choice on the fortune cookies. I’m usually the passionate one who fights to get somewhere, but I never get there. Or there’s nowhere to get to. I cherish the struggle though. I’d rather try super hard to reach an unachievable goal than not try at all.
8 HAVE YOU HAD ANY EXPERIENCES THAT HAVE TRAUMATIZED YOU? IF YES, PLEASE EXPLAIN:
When I was younger, I plugged in my desk lamp in the outlet under my bed and got shocked really bad. Sparks flew everywhere and it made this ugly ‘POP’ sound. The mattress almost caught on fire. I just sat there and cried for like five minutes before self control kicked in. Another traumatic experience was when my brother fell down our spiral staircase in his walker. I’ve never looked at those things the same since then.
9 WHAT IS YOUR UNIQUE MOTIVATION FOR WANTING TO COMPETE ON THE SHOW?
I wanna put my body on the line for money. That’s basically my sole inspiration. If somebody’s willing to pay me 50 g’s to be on a TV show where you run through obstacles and don’t have to answer any questions, or be smarter than any 5th graders, then I’m there. Sign me UP.
10 HOW WOULD YOU USE YOUR WIPEOUT WINNINGS?
I’d actually invest in some college. I’ve always wanted to go somewhere with my creative side, but never really had the chance or tools to do so. I figure school might get me closer to this goal.
11 IF YOU WERE GOING TO PEOPLE MAGAZINE, WHAT INSIDE INFO ABOUT YOU WOULD BE PUT UP NEXT TO YOUR PICTURE?
I would make sure to have them mention that I can make five-course meals using only a toaster and a butter knife. Also, that my shoe size is a women’s 12.
12 DESCRIBE YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT:
I’ve had a lot, so it’s hard to pick out a certain one, but I do remember losing my tampon going down the slide at Splashdown, the local water park. It was within the first month of ‘becoming a woman’ for me, and EVERYBODY and their mom saw me floating down the Big Dipper grabbing desperately for the stray sanitary napkin in front of me. It was so bad.
13 WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING ABOUT YOU?
The fact that I weighed 11.2 pounds at birth. Or maybe that I’ve never seen the movie Grease or JAWS or Indiana Jones.
14 WHAT OTHER REALITY TV SHOWS HAVE YOU APPLIED FOR? LIST THE SHOWS AND MONTH/YEAR:
None. This is the first show I’ve always REALLY wanted to be on. Hint hintidy hint hint hint.
(My best friend Bree and her step-mom remodeled their downstairs bathroom about a week before New Year’s. It looks really nice and smells even nicer. So I was forced to write her an appreciation letter.)
Written on December 31st, 2009 during the trip down to Tri-Cities.
Earlier today, some of my good friends and I were watching TV and chowing down on a bag of your amazing Mauna Loa Kisses (the ones with the macadamia nuts). I seriously love these things. Like, you have no idea. If Jesus had to suddenly morph into chocolate form, he’d be one of these, hands down. You know how when you see something sour and yer brain automatically starts making extra saliva to compensate for that sour, even before putting it in yer mouth? That’s what mine does, except for the “sour” part is replaced by an overwhelming “omg, there’s that Jesus chocolate again!” part.
Anyways, we got about halfway down the bag and I noticed I was coming across more and more ‘nutless kisses’. Once I realized what was happening, I began to slowly die a little on the inside. Those nuts are like the ying to my yang, man. The headphones to the Ipod, water to the vitamins. Take them out of the mix and it’s like trying to draw sky without the blue crayon.
I ended up finding eleven out of the thirty kisses that we ate to be minus their nuts. I secretly fought back tears of disappointment looking at the empty blue wrappers littering the table. “Are you crying?” My friend asked me this in a wave of confusion as I stood up quickly. I managed to answer her in brief stutters and half sentences followed by a muffled, “I’ll be right back.” I immediately made a mad dash for the bathroom and haven’t come out since. I’m currently huddled in the bathtub, writing this as you read it, shaken and still in shock from my current candy condition. I ask you this now, in regards to future Mauna Loa lovers and dedicated Hershey’s fans like myself. Please don’t skimp out on the macadamians this year. They complete me.
Happy Holidays To You And Yers,